Christmas This Year

It was a different kind of Christmas this year. No yummy spread on our dining table, no last minute Christmas shopping (which we do every year), no ritual of opening Christmas presents in La Loma. Different.

It was just us six, with dad's yayo and our driver and mom's cousin. Just us in an unfamiliar place. But it was a happy Christmas, anyway.

We still had a tree (which Kuya Mong brought) and opened gifts (not at midnight since mom has an early bed time these days). Our Noche Buena was in the form of Filipino food ordered from a Korean-Japanese restaurant, where my mommy thanked them in Korean and the Koreans said "walang anuman" in response.

It was different, but I really had nothing to worry about. Christmas will be merry no matter where you are. I guess it's who you are with that counts. And these days, I'm glad I have my family. ♥

Life Is (Bitter)Sweet

Things have been happily going my way for the past week. But there is something lurking in the shadows. I will pretend that it doesn't really exist yet. After all, I will only really know about it next week.

I don't get why they think the only solution to a problem is to start from square one. Why not build on what you already have and fix the problem from there?

Why do they always have to complicate things? Sigh. Happiness always comes with a price. /: I guess, it's true what they say. You can't have it all.

All she wants is to dance

15:15, Seoul. Shyness is no excuse. I used to think I was too shy to dance—but then I felt so happy doing it, I just knew I could never go back. Am still a shy person, but one who will do everything she wants to.

Found this in my phone when I was cleaning out my inbox, outbox, and saved messages. I typed it into my phone one day in Baguio, when Marla and I were waiting to go back to Manila. It was a display at the Nike store with Korean singer BoA on the walls.

In Church (twice) today, I couldn't help but cringe at my stomach, which now (sadly) bursts out of my jeans. My thighs have never been thin, but they haven't been this massive, either. I never used to have a problem with my weight, but I think it's safe to say that I am now unfit.

I wish I could dance again. Maybe even just twice a week, an hour at a time. I can start tomorrow—if I remember.

Sunday Morning Rain Is (Tears Are) Falling

Sana hindi na lang naimbento ang pera. Yun lang.

A Beautiful Surprise

We will be going on many adventures together, darling.

I've been browsing Flickr for pictures taken with a Holga and I'm getting excited to have my first roll developed. After browing through LomoManila (which I registered for, but my account never got approved. Harrr.) though, I read that sometimes the first roll doesn't even have any print-worthy shots! Hahaha! Oh God. I hope mine has at least one good shot! I've never used 120 film so I'm worried about how my pictures will come out. But I guess that's the beauty of shooting film, the outcome is always a surprise. Beautiful or not, I guess we will have to wait. (:

New Digs!

I barely touch the layout of this blog, because I don't understand how the Blogger template works. Ha ha! I used to have such a broad knowledge of HTML. But now? I am reduced to knowing tags limited to customizing how text looks and adding images. Boo.

Nothing really new except for the background (I have a thing for the color grey/gray and diagonal lines) and the header (I also have a thing for clouds, apparently). Some of you might already know that I Google (now, Blackle) for fonts when I'm bored. I am obsessing over the two fonts (sets of font? eh.) you see on the header. I ♥ you, TrashHand and King Cool KC!

A question for YM9 users, does it sometimes not show your status message? Because, among other obsessions, I love changing my status message from time to time. And this morning, if refused to show anything. I quit YM and re-opened it, but it still wouldn't change my status. Harrr.

That's how you know he loves you

I love Disney movies. And I love the songs.

Together we will find a Hideaway

I'm so proud of you! I knew you were going to be a star, K. (:

The Beauty Of Having A Scanner

There's something comforting about looking at old photographs.

I'm not even sure if I remember it right, but I think this photo was taken in Baguio. Those were my favorite red shoes. And it was summer. I don't know why we're all frowning except for Manu, but pictures with my brothers always make my heart smile.

From a list of 10

"A realization that this is the way my life is unraveling. There is no rule that says I cannot be 25 this way."

My biggest fear is to lose my parents. I was scared to death at the sight of my mom writhing in pain tonight. I am relieved that we are okay again. But more importantly, I am happy.

Let's Have A Cookie Par-tay!

When I got this in my inbox this afternoon, I thought, "what a great idea."

I'm in love with Penny Brown Smackers, so this Cookie Sandwich was very promising. Especially since I'm sure it isn't very messy to eat.

Then, while my friend and I were discussing it (yes, we take our desserts very seriously), I mused that it would be a nice idea for a party.

My birthday is this Friday and I still haven't planned anything.

What do you think? A Cookie Sandwich party worth trying? I'll just lay out different kinds of cookies and make different spreads. And to counter the sweet, we can lay out crackers and cheese, or something.

Problem is, I'm down to my last thousand and something, because I paid for my brother's tuition (not complaining, merely narrating). So. I guess, it's something to think about for next year's celeb. *sigh*

Sayang. It would've been so "biscuits and tea." (Please say with a British accent. Hee.)

Oh, Pushing Daisies, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways..

1. Ned, the piemaker, and his luscious pies.
   
2. Chuck's pretty dresses and color-coded ensembles. I ♥ them!
   
3. Emerson "Pooh" Cod's knitting and "Oh, hell no!" (I couldn't stop LOL-ing when he was calling Olive's money in Episode 5. Ha ha!)
   
4. Olive Snook who is all kinds of adorable and her awesome singing voice. Episode 5's jumping on the bed scene is made of WIN!
   
5. Jim Dale's narration. It's like hearing a storybook being read out loud.
   
6. Young Ned and his hair. I love that it looks like a bowl was put over his head and the scissors just traced around the edge. Haha!
   
7. The many variations of Ned/Chuck touching. Bee suits FTW!
   
8. Random details like figurines of "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" monkeys.
   
9. The quirky aunts Lily and Vivian who get high on homeopathic pies.
   
10. The unbelievable colors. I love that they're so bright and cheery even if every episode is all about, well, death. And life. And yeah, death again. Haha!

Why don't they show this series in the Philippines!? My hard drive is in dire need of resuscitation! Ha ha! I am down to my last 2GB. Yikes.

Quarter life something

I am penniless. Or at least that will happen if I empty out my account. Because even if I get my money back, as my mother has kindly reminded, it'll be gone as long as it's in my wallet. I think that's why I keep my money in the bank and not withdraw everything like most people do.

It sucks.

You know, I wish I could give everything that my parents ask for from me. But what about me? I can't be the piggy bank that kept on giving. I can't. No matter how hard I try to be a good daughter and just give them money when they need it, I can't because my money doesn't seem to last. I've been working for almost three years now and I have squat. I've saved nothing. Just enough for the occasional trip, just enough for my food, just enough for a pair of shoes every six months (or even an entire year), just enough until the the next payday.

And people wonder why I'm so terrified of turning twenty-five. Duuuude, I'm twenty-five, still living with my parents with no savings. Tell me that's worth celebrating. Except for the part that I have my parents, I don't know what to celebrate. That I am in a position by default because my previous position was an "error?" That I am like in high school and my salary is like my allowance? That I really have no choice but to keep giving everything I have because I owe my parents everything?

I am not very hard to please, which is why I seem happy even with all of this crap. Because I do find a way to be happy. It's just that, I wish I didn't have to try so hard to keep myself happy.

So should I give the last of my money to pay for yet another one of the many bills that need to be paid right now? Because it's the "right" thing to do?

"Who'd have thought that love could be so caffeinated?"

As you might have already noticed, I am obsessed with TV series these days. I felt like I was going through some sort of withdrawal last night when I realized none of my shows (haha, "my," like I own them) were up for download yet. (But I just checked now, and Chuck is already available! Whee!)

So guess what I'm obsessing about? Who, rather. Kristin Chenoweth! I heart her. She is all kinds of awesome. Thank goodness for Pushing Daisies or else I would've never known about her. Okay, maybe not. She's Glinda in Wicked, and apparently, my friend has already sent 2 of her songs from the play way before. Ha ha!

Currently listening to this, though:


I love how she says "triple latte." Hahaha! Can't wait for the next episode of Pushing Daisies. One more day to go! Hahaha. OBSESSED!

My latest obsession

Well, one of many. I'm definitely addicted because I don't really make wallpapers (other than the ones on our website) but today, after making our October wallpapers, I ended up playing with some pictures.

My current desktop at the office:


I can't wait to go home and watch the fourth episode! Eek. And there's House, too. Man, I love my TV shows.

The Lineup

What I'm currently watching and downloading every week (in no particular order):

Chuck
Gossip Girl
Grey's Anatomy
Heroes
House
Private Practice
Pushing Daisies

Hey, I can watch one for each night of the week. Hahaha! Now, my computer desperately needs more free space.

On to mindless, not-so-personal things

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S

As heard on Gossip Girl episode 3

(:

Girls and boys, today's word is negligence.

Pronunciation: 'ne-gli-j&n(t)s
Function: noun
1 a : the quality or state of being negligent b : failure to exercise the care that a reasonably prudent person would exercise in like circumstances
2 : an act or instance of being negligent
—Definition of negligence, Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

Pronunciation: -j&nt
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French & Latin; Anglo-French, from Latin neglegent-, neglegens, present participle of neglegere
1 a : marked by or given to neglect especially habitually or culpably b : failing to exercise the care expected of a reasonably prudent person in like circumstances
2 : marked by a carelessly easy manner
—Definition of negligent, Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

Now, tell me was it any of the two? When I was doing my job and even more than what's fucking expected of me? I don't like cussing. Or at least I try my best not to. But I am pissed beyond belief. And apparently, contrary to popular belief, the person who's supposed to have my back is the one pushing me even further. When will this fucking nightmare end. I am so tired of fighting the system.

The law of attraction

I think the reason why I've been pissed off lately and been having so many bad days is that I keep talking negatively. I know it's okay to rant about stuff that gets to you, but I guess if you do it all the time, you just attract even more bad energy.

A wake up call was when a friend of mine told me that he thought I should speak only of good things about the person that makes me feel bad. That way, that person will eventually make me feel good. It's hard and must be the most challenging thing in the world to do but I'm going to give it a shot. He also told me that God put that person in that person's position and me in mine for a reason. I don't mean to be preachy or anything like that, but having some quiet time and talking to Him the past few days have helped a lot. Maybe that's why I've been having better days, too.

So I will think of the good things and the good things will come back to me. (:

The piemaker knows everything

Pushing Daisies is a "forensic fairy tale" that focuses on Ned, a piemaker with a mysterious ability to make the dead live again. The gift is not without its complications, however: if he touches this being a second time, they'll be dead permanently. If they live for more than 60 seconds, somebody else nearby will die. (Quote: "It's a random proximity thing"). It's a gift that he puts in good use to help a private investigator friend, Emerson Cod and his childhood sweetheart, the once-dead Charlotte "Chuck" Charles. —from Wikipedia

Another new series to add to my growing list of downloadables. I love it. It's such a charming show. And I love the narration. I love that he makes pies. I love that his first kiss isn't pretty at first look, but beautiful by the end of the pilot. ♥ Wait for the scene when they "hold hands."

I think my dreams

have started coming true.

:-<

Last I Checked, Yeah.

Hilarious. Roch and I are spending our Sunday night, checking out the Candy Multiply account. From 812 pending invites at around 3 hours ago, maybe, we're down to 289 invites. Hahaha!

And yes, we're both HUMAN! Kthxbye.

Time space warp, ngayon din!

The best fair you'll ever go to. (; If you're in high school, or want to relive high school (ha ha), drop by the NBC Tent this Saturday with your September ish of Candy. It's going to be loads of fun!

I Dreamed a Dream

I had the strangest dream ever. I don't want to elaborate, but I have a feeling it's because of my disappointments at work lately. You know it's something big because my job has nothing been short of stellar since I started.

Googled what dreaming about the office means:

To dream of your work office, indicates that you cannot seem to leave your work at the office. You may be overworked or have too much on your mind. Alternatively, it symbolizes your status, accomplishments and your place in the world.
— Office entry from the Dream Dictionary here

I remember waking up feeling so terrible because the dream had something to do with everyone on the team (not my "peeps," who I love dearly) being against me. ): Nobody had my back and it was "me against the world." I'm not really sure what that means, but I've always believed that dreams are the opposite of reality.

It just worries me that whenever I do remember my dreams upon waking (I usually wake up with no recollection of what I was thinking of in my sleep.), it's always something bad or weird. /:

Guess who's back?

Note to self: Breathe.

I am blessed to be able to witness such small surprises and tiny treasures in my life.

Everyday I try to teach myself to let go of all the "bad" things in my life. To just take a deep breath and let it go. But most of the time, when I'm stressed or feeling out of my element, I catch myself with tears welling in my eyes. It happened again this week, in front of my computer at work. But I took a deep breath, shook my head as if to wake myself up, and went on as if nothing had happened. Until someone noticed and asked if I was okay. After which followed this line: "At the end of the day, it's just work."

And it scared me because for a moment, I thought that it was all I had at the end of the day. Then, the weekend comes and I'm reminded of the wonderful life that I have in my family, my friends, and my passions.

There is more to my life than just work after all.

Drier than usual

Dear Diary,

I baked cookies today. They were not my usual fare of chocolate chip cookies. There was banana, peanut butter, and walnuts. I should've skipped the additional 2/3 cup of flour since my butter was barely a cup. I ended up with not-chewy cookies. They were more cakey than anything, but I must admit they were still pretty good. I should've added one more banana because you can barely taste it in this batch. I guess I put too much PB and too little banana. I can't wait `til next weekend so I can re-do this recipe and come up with chewy cookies.

Love,
Me

P.S.
Don't forget to always stock up on unsalted butter. One block per recipe!

Simple Pleasures

♥ my mobile Tamagotchi named Pupu
♥ an accomplished assigned article
♥ an out-of-town trip
♥ another baking spree (to try, PB and Nutella cookies!)
♥ instant chicken pandan (just fry and you have instant ulam!)
♥ a trip to the salon
♥ chatting with my best friends scattered all over the world late at night (:

Oh, how I love the Internet.

September 24 na ba?

In other news, Melissa Mae tagged me. And since I've answered this twice on my LJ already (although I distinctly remember it being SIX weird habits), I'll answer it here.

In the 8 facts about me, you share 8 things that your readers don't know about you. then at the end you tag 8 other bloggers to keep the fun going.
* each blogger must post these rules first.
* each blogger starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
* bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
* at the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
* don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

01. Only my brothers know this. I like singing along to my mp3s when I'm using the computer at home. As in todo emote with matching pikit ng mata.
02. I google for movies playing on TV if I don't know what it is. Tonight's HBO mystery to me apparently is King Kong. Can somebody please explain why there are dinosaurs in the movie?
03. I download songs from Multiply using Candy's account so that my own account won't show up on the person's stats. Hahaha!
04. When I remember, I do "wall push-ups." I don't know how else to call it but it's like a push-up except you do it against the wall. Haha, I particularly do this against the bathroom wall before taking a bath. Kadiri, noh? d: My arms are still fat so that means I always forget. Haha!
05. I say too much on my countless blogs. But hey, you knew that already. Haha, why do I love exposing myself to the world? I don't know, either.
06. My all-time favorite cereal is Frosties. Not Cocoa Puffs, not Rice Krispies, not plain cornflakes. I like my cereal sweet. (:
07. (Don't get mad.) I'm not very fond of people visiting my site just because I'm my brother's sister. I've worked so hard to not be his shadow so you know, there are times when I'd rather you send your comments to him, not me. I love him, though, don't get me wrong. (; It's just this is my site, so let's talk about me. Okay? Haha!
08. I had a "non-relationship" with someone from work (past or present, who knows? hahaha!). When I think about it now, I wish it never happened. I hope he reads this. Or someone who knows him does and sends the message.

It seems weird that I am posting this "tell-all" (not quite all, with just eight secrets) on a public blog. Haha! Especially one that my family reads. d: But what the heck, they're bound to find out sooner or later, right?

I'm tagging everyone who hasn't done it or has but wants to do it again. :D

Happy birthday to the best kuya! d:

Through SMS today
me: Did you see my note* na?
him: Hindi pa. Nasan?
him: Nakita ko na! I love you!

I love you, too! Happy birthday, Kuya Mong!

* I taped a note on the bathroom mirror because he was still asleep when I left the house this morning. I didn't want to wake him up just to greet him. And since we barely see each other, I thought the note would be a nice surprise to wake up to.

A little lamb lost

Because the weather is just the right kind of gloomy, I'll write about something I haven't been talking about for some time now.

I've always believed that your love life doesn't really define who you are. I'm not being bitter. Ha ha. It's just that I don't think you should be judged just based on whether you have a boyfriend/a husband/a partner/whatever-you-call-them-these-days or not. All of my twenty-four years (minus the few years I did manage to have a relationship), I've always been asked if I have a boyfriend, why don't I have one, isn't anyone courting me. Yes, those three questions, always in succession. Sometimes, I get tired of answering. Why is it hard to believe that I don't? Or that I don't really know why I don't have one. And that it is possible to not have someone pursue you at one point in your life. Why, are you supposed to have a suitor 24/7? 365 days a year? Because if you are, well, sorry. I was not informed.

It can get frustrating. Some people think you've given up and lost all hope and that's why you've turned into those people who would gladly stay single for the rest of their lives. But the truth is, you're just scared. Scared that everything is just one big cycle and you'll end up exactly the way you were before it started. So why bother?

I haven't lost all hope nor have I given up. I guess this time I'm just more cautious. My mom would always recite these lines to me, "Hindi hinahanap yun, dumadating." So I followed, waited patiently. It came but it also left. Some friends said you had to put some effort into it, make things happen. I tried that, too. And I only ended up getting my heart broken and it felt even worse than the first (two) time(s). So what's a girl to do?

I wait patiently and pray that someone will come and watch over me—eventually. Someone who, hopefully, is also patient and willing to wait. (:

When I was much younger, I'd always answer "25" when asked what my ideal marrying age would be. That's only three months away. Highly unlikely that a wedding will happen between today and the day I turn 25. d: But I do believe that someday, I will get to do that. (: First, I'll have to fall in love.

Feast

Assumption girls are like fragrant blossoms set out into the world to share its beauty and truth. —Sir Beni delos Reyes

Bratinella strikes again

I was sort of hoping my 100th post would be something special or memorable at least.

But I am now tired and sleepy (but can't seem to fall asleep) with my forehead hurting from too much kunot ng noo.

Two things I really hate: being made to wait and sleeping in a car.

I don't like waiting. I'm (almost) never late and I hate it when other people are. I wake up early, get ready early, so I expect to arrive early wherever and whenever. I know that it's so we can save money, but geezus, can you please think of other people and the time they need to get to wherever? Hay, and after ten hours in the office, I really want to plop down on my bed, watch a few minutes of TV and blissfully fall asleep buried under my comforter.

Yes, because beds are for sleeping. Not cars. Who wants to sleep sitting down, right? Which brings us to the second item on my hate list today. I never really get to sleep that long on road trips. I'm just not too comfortable and I can't sleep in a sitting position. And when I finally doze off, I'm already where I'm supposed to be. GAHHHH.

So you can just imagine how pissed I am right now. Sitting inside a car for an hour and half the time, waiting in front of a building. My face = >_<

I am using up all of my self-control to shut up and not snap at the people in this room. I know, I'm such a brat. Don't you just hate it. Inhale, exhale. Okay, at least I have self-control!

P.S.
I think my mother has found this blog. Hahaha! Hi, mommy.

Rainy days and pan de sal

I kind of miss waiting for the radio announcement of suspension of classes. The closest thing to it was getting an email from HR that we could go home at 5pm today.

One of my favorite memories of rainy days when I was younger is eating breakfast in my parents' room in our old house in Marikina. It was on the "second floor" of the bedroom. In quotation marks because our house was really a bungalow and my parents just had a sort-of loft or attic built in their bedroom. You see, our tiny house on the corner of Oriole and Flamingo always got flooded in whenever it rained. I still remember waking up and seeing my bedroom half-submerged in murky floodwater. I think my tandayan even fell into the water. Yuck. Haha!

Whenever classes got suspended, we'd get carried to the spiral staircase going up to my parents' bedroom and we'd eat pan de sal and peanut butter until the water went down. It still gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling. Hahaha!

Even though I'd love to eat peanut butter pan de sal in my parents' room with my family again, I really wouldn't want to get flooded in. O: Not after a few months ago when I got stuck in traffic for two hours coming from the office and then, coming home to an extremely muddy house. Isn't it ironic? (Don't you think? Haha!) We moved out of Marikina so we wouldn't get flooded in and now, we still get flooded in!

Tears dry on their own

Sinabi na ngang "wag ka nang umiyak" eh. *sniff*

Not-so-cheap but still inexpensive thrills

Happiness today was in the form of a roasted garlic and shrimp pizza with extra cheese. Shared with it my parents while they watched chismis and I watched The Simpsons Movie (heh, online. shh!).

To-do list

To watch
The Simpsons
Ratatouille
License To Wed
A Love Story (hehe)
No Reservations
Hairspray

To eat
Butterscotch Caramel ice cream (which Marla says tastes like BK's Dulce De Leche Cheesecake)
Twister fries and bubblegum float combo

To look forward to
The fair
New season of Grey's, House, and Heroes

Hmm. Not really much on the list, you see. I just need willing movie buffs to accomplist the first to-do. Any takers?

More from the Mommy Diaries

For the past three weekends, I've been reading the last three books of the Harry Potter series. I don't have the actual books so I've been reading them on the computer and the laptop.

During the first weekend, my mom had no problem with it because I was using the laptop.

The week after that, she walks into the room and sees me in front of the computer. She stands behind me for a while and then walks out. After a few hours, she comes back and I'm still on the computer. All of a sudden she yells, "Magkano ba yang libro na yan?!" Hahahaha!

And then, yesterday, when I was reading again. She mutters under her breath, "Nagbabasa ka na naman?"

I really love my mom. d: And she really loves her Yahoo! games. d: She's like a super librarian or something on Bookworm. Haha!

Lists

Because this is what I do for those days when I'm feeling so-so.

♥ twister fries
♥ movies in foreign languages, heh
♥ a sincere compliment
♥ a hearty laugh
♥ warped faces
♥ a relatively short ride home
♥ a working car a/c
♥ Sondre Lerche
♥ accomplished work affirmed by "thank you" emails
♥ a beach trip to look forward to

Oh this could be magic after all

My lame attempt at a collage is staring you in the face right now. Haha! I totally suck, but what the heck. My other header image was boring me. This one's slightly similar to one I made before. Just a few of my favorite things haphazardly cut and pasted together. Har har.

While the rest of the world is finishing up Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, I am just starting Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Haha! And don't lecture me about downloading e-books online. I am simply too cheap to go out and buy the actual book. d:

On a very random note: I have another new song on repeat. Kuya Mong played it on his iPod for me yesterday while my dad and I were waiting for the driver to bring us to Church. I ♥ it. I'm a sucker for songs with lyrics like "Out of control, I don’t know where to go/‘Cause you were my map when I found you." Kamown. I only have Phantom Punch. Anyone care to recommend another Sondre Lerche album?

Good morning. I am, yet again, up so early with absolutely nothing to do.

Together we will find a hideaway

Not a lot of people know this but when I was much younger, I used to take voice lessons. After taking piano for how-many-years, I decided to step up and try singing. Haha! I was obsessed with Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, and Aladdin so a lot of my pieces were from the OST of those movies.

My first real lesson, though, was with Ed Manguiat of the UP Singing Ambassadors. My mom would take me and Gen (my tita's niece but not related at all to me) to sir Ed's house and we would learn songs like "Dahil Sa Isang Bulaklak." Yes, me with my tiny eight-year-old voice. I enjoyed singing and I loved the feeling of butterflies in my stomach every time I stepped into that house.

I eventually stopped but soon after, when I got a new piano teacher, she said that she also taught voice. So every week, after playing piano, we would take my notebook and list down a set of songs I'd sing for her. One that I remember is "Edelweiss." Haha! Frustated cast member of the Sound of Music, anyone?

Nowadays, my singing is confined within the four walls of my shower stall where I belt out the latest hits. d: So I'm always thrilled to watch friends who are actually singing—up there on stage and not just in their bathrooms. Haha!

I've been listening to this one song that my friend sent me and I can't send to anyone else. Haha! I love it. I used to dream of being the next Lea Salonga but I'm quite happy with just being a fan of the next big thing. (:

Nicked off Mica

1. Were you smiling when you woke up this morning?
Haha not exactly while I woke up.

2. When was the last time you met someone new?
Today, at the Camera Tricks Workshop.

3. When did you last eat pizza?
First day of our planning for Digital, I think.

4. Do you drink beer?
Sometimes. I'm really not a big fan.

5. Do you wash your own clothes?
Nope. Sometimes, having your own laundromat is great. d:

6. Are you any good at poker?
Not good at it but at least now I know how to play.

7. What do you want more than anything?
To sleep while earning money. Haha! Kidding! I want an unlimited stash of plane tickets to anywhere in the world.

8. Are you tired?
Tired of what is the more important question.

9. Besides your bed, what is your favorite thing in your room?
My mirror? Haha!

10. Pepsi or Coke?
Coke.

11. Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
Never.

12. Do you enjoy piercings and tattoos?
I don't like tattoos and I only like piercings one on each ear and on girls. d:

13. Taco Bell or McDonald's?
McDo

14. Are you restless?
Sometimes.

15. Is your computer desktop or a laptop?
The on I'm using now is a desktop.

16. How many friendster views do you have?
88 views since July 1, 2007.

17. Want to be a prince/princess?
I already am! Ha ha.

18. Do you believe dreams come true?
If you dream hard enough, they do. (:

19. Last song you heard?
John Mayer's "Stop This Train" in the car on my way home.

20. Do you like Batman?
I liked the TV series with the POW! KABLAM! "effects."

21. Who is in the room with you?
Nior and Manu, my two younger brothers.

22. What are you wearing on your foot?
I'm barefoot right now.

23. What was the last thing you ate?
Miswa and lumpiang shanghai.

24. What were you doing before this?
Posting pictures from today.

25. What is the closest item near you that is blue?
The supot that my camera's USB cable is in.

26. In your opinion what is the weirdest thing listed on goofysicons.com?
I don't even know such a site existed.

27. What instant messaging service do you use?
Yahoo Messenger.

28. What is your fave website?
Duh. Hahaha! Seriously, I love LiveJournal.

29. Whose house were you at last night?
Mine.

30. What do you wear more, jeans or sweatpants?
Jeans.

31. What is the last movie you watched?
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.. in IMAX! Hoo ha. That just has to be mentioned. d:

32. What do you currently hear right now?
ANTM on ETC.

33. When did you last buy a new pair of pants?
I don't remember when exactly but Kuya Mong got me a pair of skinnies a few months back.

34. Where's your favorite place to be?
My room and in front of a computer, it seems.

34. Have you ever heard of the band Our Lady Peace?
Yes.

35. Where do you sleep?
My bed.

36. Where do you shop the most?
Ukay-ukay, Divisoria, 168. Haha! I'm such a cheapskate.

37. Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
I don't remember where my mom got it but I do remember the reason why she bought it. She saw my desktop wallpaper was a pink flamingo so when she saw this shirt with pink and orange flamingoes, she got it for me. ♥

38. Coach Purse or NFL game tickets?
Coach purse. d: Then, I'll give it to my mom. Haha!

39. Where was your default pic taken?
I'm guessing this is a Friendster survey so that picture was taken in Camarra Island in Zambales. I love it.

40. Why did you pick your background?
(Referring to my Friendster account again) It's a bunch of lomo pictures that I like.

41. Are you happy with where you are?
I choose to be happy.

42. Do you believe love at first sight exists?
No. Crush lang yon noh. Hindi love. d:

43. Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries?
Of course. Why not?

44. Do you believe that you can change someone?
I don't think anyone has the power to do that. You can only, at most, change yourself.

45. What are you going to do after you do this survey?
Sleep! (:

Homebound

On the ride going home

Me: Why are you here?
My brother: I picked up my laptop.
Me: Ahh..
My brother: Pero ang totoo, miss na kita, Ate, eh. *sabay tawa*

Hahahaha. If I know, totoo. d:

Weekend Update

The house was pretty empty this weekend. I'm kind of getting used to not seeing my Kuya because he's a night owl and is always asleep in the day. My two brothers were MIA this weekend, too. One of them had an immersion for school, and the other one is at a fun run, I think. My dad is either in front of the TV in the kitchen, or asleep in the living room while my mom has her eyes glued to her Veoh downloads.

So I've holed up in my room for most of the weekend, reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (haha, I'm so cheap I just downloaded an ebook off the Net) on the laptop. I have about 24 more chapters to go, but I'm loving it. I totally understand why some superfans are disappointed with the movie (I, on the other hand, loved it). It's harder to read the book when you've seen the movie already, though. I keep picturing Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint. Haha!

The book is coming out next week and I know lots of people are excited about it. I stopped buying after the third book because I refused to buy the hardbound books. :P I'm cheap like that. But maybe, come September, I'll consider buying the boxed set of all the books in the series. Kaich says it also comes with a trunk you can put the books in. Bloody awesome. :P

I just thought I'd post something other than song lyrics and memes. Even if I know there aren't really too many people reading this, I do know that my cousin in Canada drops by every so often. :P So here's a proper update—if you can even call it that. Haha!

So we are history

People who know me well know I'm not a big fan of cussing but, dammit, I love this song!

I shouldn't play myself again,
I should just be my own best friend,
Not fuck myself in the head with stupid men
— "Tears Dry On Their Own," Amy Winehouse

This is how my family does it

Nothing says I love you like a big booming voice that greets you in the mornings. Or a declaration at the supermarket that, yes, "I will buy maple-flavored bacon." Or a pair of new sneakers. Or lending the iBook when the room where the computer is is filled with college boys.

Nothing says I love you like three people in the same room not talking to each other because one is on the desktop PC, and the two others are on the laptops but willingly YM each other YouTube links. Or taking out the plug of the router to reset the connection. Or emailing various software to clean a computer that accidentally downloaded a virus disguised as a crack.

Nothing says I love you like a huge box of Cocoa Puffs and Cowhead milk. Or a few packs of your favorite Chicken Noodle soup. Or an issue of a magazine with you in it. Or a shirt that you didn't ask for but they bought, anyway.

It's great to hear I love you being said out loud but, honestly, actions still speak louder than words. (:

Doubles

This morning, I had corned beef and eggs for breakfast. Then, at lunch, two slices of pizza. I downed two bottles of iced tea today and ate two chocolate doughnuts for dinner.

We went up to the room for planning in twos. And went down in pairs, too.

I don't know why I'm writing this down. It all seemed so relevant in my head when I was in the car stuck in traffic.

Hahaha. Oh well, so much for that. Btw, I got another Friendster notice from the same person (see post below) in my other inbox. Ha ha ha! Hilarious!

Funnies

This almost made me LOL.



Another is my ID picture. No, I won't post it here. First, Marla said it reminded her of TGIS. And then, Patrick Garcia. Wahaha! And this is supposed to be my "beauty shot" ha. Mimi had the brilliant idea of looking for a picture of Patrick Garcia in a similar pose. OMG. The picture I found was almost exactly like my pose and we're both wearing black. HILARIOUS. Maybe I'll post in LJ. Someday. Haha! You know what's even funnier? It's actually the shot I'm choosing for my ID.

Survey time (nicked from LJ)

1. How old will you be in five years?
29 (eek!)

2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today?
Mia, Mimi, Marla, Margaux (oooh all Ms!), and Ray. I was eating Chowking takeout with Mim at the Candy area.

3. How tall are you?
Last time I checked I was 5'2" and 1/4. Haha! I hope to God I'm 5'3" na!

4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks?
A surf party with my adventure buddies. (:

5. What's the last movie you saw?
In the cinema? I don't remember. ):

6. Who was the last person you called?
Last call I made was last Saturday. I called the driver to pick me up from a shoot in Eastwood.

7. Who was the last person to call you?
Tonight, a missed call from the driver to let me know that he's there already.

8. What was the last text message you received?
"Hahaha. Cge. Yay" from Candice replying to my "I'll pay you tom for the board shorts. Super perfect fit haha!" text.

9. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail?
I don't have voice mail.

10. Do you prefer to call or text?
Text, actually. Hehe!

11. What were you doing at 12am last night?
Sleeping, I think.

12. Are your parents married/divorced?
Married (:

13. When did you last see your mom?
Just two minutes ago, asking me about my health card. I keep forgetting to ask about it. /:

14. What color are your eyes?
Dark brown.

15. What time did you wake up today?
7am

16. What are you wearing right now?
The shirt I was wearing all day and black shorts. I'm too lazy to change my shirt. Maybe later before I go to bed.

17. What's your favorite Christmas song?
Haha. Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas." d:

18. Where is your favorite place to be?
Here at home. I'm sooo lazy. Or maybe the beach.

19. Where is your least favorite place to be?
In the car, driving. Haha! Told you I'm lazy.

20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere?
I'd really like to go to New York. And Canada. And LA. I miss my friends. ):

21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years?
I hope I've met the love of my life if I'm not yet married by then. d:

22. Do you tan or burn?
Depending on the length of exposure hehe!

23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
I think I was afraid of things coming out from under my bed. Eek!

24. What was the last thing that really made you laugh?
Mimi getting kilig over a text. Yihee!

25. How many TVs do you have in your house?
Five.

26. How big is your bed?
I think it's queen-sized.

27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer?
Both.

28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
Uh, definitely with.

29. What color are your sheets?
Right now it's some variation of floral prints. But generally, white.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?
There are four pillows on my bed but I really sleep with just two.

31. What is your favorite season?
Summer because I can go to the beach, but I also love almost-rainy days. When it's just the right kind of gloomy. (Is there even such a thing!?)

33. What do you like about winter?
I don't know what it's like.

34. What do you like about the summer?
The beeeeeach.

35. What do you like about spring?
I really only know two seasons: summer and rainy.

36. How many states/provinces have you lived in?
Just Metro Manila.

37. What cities/towns have you lived in?
Marikina and Q to the C.

38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
Shoesies.

39. Are you a social person?
It really depends on who I'm being social with.

40. What was the last thing you ate?
Asado siopao and Nai cha from Chowking.

41. What is your favorite restaurant?
Parang I don't have a favorite.

42. What is your favorite ice cream?
Coffee Crumble from Arce Dairy. Mmm.

43. What is your favorite dessert?
Anything with chocolate.

44. What is your favorite kind of soup?
Chicken noodle? Hehe!

45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
I used to make PB & J sandwiches with Good Shepherd Strawberry Syrup. Mmm.

46. Do you like Chinese food?
Not a big fan, but I really love the baked rice in Mr. Choi's.

47. Do you like coffee?
I do and I'm not really picky. I can live with 3-in-1 mixes.

48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average?
I should really drink more. I rarely finish the water in my tumbler that I bring to work.

49. What do you drink in the morning?
Water. Sometimes, coffee or orange juice (I love Harvey's Orange Juice!)

51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
I always sleep on the left side. All my junk's on the other side.

52. Do you know how to play poker?
Yes. Well, sort of. I still need coaching.

53. Do you like to cuddle?
Haha, yeah, I guess. d:

54. Do you have an addictive personality?
Well, I hope I do!

56. Do you eat out or at home more often?
Eat out only because of work.

58. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?
My grade school guidance counselor, my batchmate, and my batchmate's sister.

59. Do you want kids?
Of course. I actually want twins—one boy and one girl. Para isang pagbubuntis na lang.

60. Do you speak any other languages?
Just English and Filipino. I studied French as my foreign language in college and even took lessons from the Missionaries in Assumption. Those years of studying just left me with: Bonjour, Bon soir, Salut, Comment t'appelle tu? Comment ca va? J'emappelle Macy, et toi? and a bunch of random French words that I don't know how to string together. Hahaha! So much for that.

61. Have you ever gotten stitches?
Never.

62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Nope but I saw one when my daddy got a seizure a year after his aneurysm. It scared me to death.

63. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?
Ocean because you'll tan better. Haha!

64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats?
Any seat will do.

65. Do you know how to drive stick?
Yup. I actually like it better than driving automatic. I got scared the first time I drove an automatic. Haha!

66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
Food. d:

67. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7?
Except when I sleep, my pearl earrings.

68. What is your favorite TV show?
Gilmore Girls, Grey's Anatomy, Heroes, House, M.D., Veronica Mars, and a bunch of other shows listed in my Friendster profile. Haha!

69. Can you roll your tongue?
Yup and I can turn it into a three-leaf clover. Seriously!

70. Who is the funniest person you know?
I have lots of friends who can be comedians!

71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
Well my headboard is overflowing with stuffed toys.

72. What is the main ring tone on your phone?
Esthero's "Everyday is a Holiday"

73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?
Maybe not clothes but the purple slippers that I still wear now were the slippers I've had since I was in fourth grade.

74. What red object is closest to you right now?
A MYX button pin.

75. Do you turn off the water while you brush your teeth?
Yup.

76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Eh? Actually, they're open right now. Haha!

77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?
Yikes, maybe a big bear? I'd probably have a bigger chance of outrunning it than a swarm of bees.

78. Do you flirt a lot?
I don't think I know how. d:

79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
Kecap manis but we've run out.

80. What is your favorite food?
Chicken pork adobo, Nutella (haha, yes, I consider it food). Lately, Kung Pao Chicken from Pho Hoa, BBQ Bacon and Cheese Burger from BK, and Smackers from Penny Brown (Choco Peanut and Milk Choco Cookies and Pistachio ice cream. Yum!).

81. Can you change the oil on a car?
Nope.

82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
No, I drive so slow! Haha! They'd probably give me a slowing ticket. (Ngeee.)

83. Have you ever run out of gas?
No, not yet.

84. What is your usual bedtime?
10pm? I sleep really early. But these days, I sleep after PBB. Hahaha!

85. What was the last book you read?
Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit by Jeanette Winterson.

86. Do you read the newspaper?
Yes but only the lifestyle and entertainment sections. Haha! Occasionally, the front page.

87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Nope, I don't.

89. Do you watch soap operas?
Not lately.

90. Do you dance in the car?
No.

91. What radio station did you last listen to?
I don't remember but it was probably either 88.3, 89.1, or 89.9.

92. Who is in the picture frame closest to you?
There's no picture frame near me.

93. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper?
Notes from this afternoon's meeting.

94. What is your favorite candle scent?
Lavender or vanilla.

95. What is your favorite board game?
Pictionary? I don't know.

97. When was the last time you attended church?
Sunday afternoon at the village chapel with my two younger brothers.

98. Who was your favorite teacher in high school?
This is so bad. Was high school that long ago? Or wala lang talaga akong favorite? Eek. Ms. Roux, maybe. (:

99. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent?
Overnight.

100. Who was the last person to do something extra special for you?
Kaich found my camera! <333 Thanks, thanks!

It's late and I'm feeling so tired

I'm sleepy but my silly obsession with reality shows is keeping me up. I'm screaming at the TV—obviously not heeding my own advice. Hahaha! It's hilarious that I'm annotating the show for Mikko, who is all the way in New York but still very much addicted to the show.

Just heard now: Kim Atienza saying "BFF" in a telecom commercial. Whaaaat. BFF?! Seriously. Hahahaha! First it was "kering-keri," now this. What is the world coming to?

Reality Bites

I'm a sucker for reality shows. I remember when ETC was introduced to cable, I was in reality show heaven. I even got hooked on this really lame show, Starting Over. As in at first, I'd just watch it if there was nothing to watch but the next thing I knew, I was watching even the reruns. Hahaha! I tried watching the season that's on air now but parang the best pa rin yung first. I loved the drama! Whether it was scripted or not, who cares? :P I watch it for its entertainment value.

I even used to watch Blind Date and Third Wheel. Hahaha! I'm so gross! :P

Whenever some reality show is on ETC or 2nd Avenue, I watch it. Even if I have no idea what it is. There was one show I watched. Unanimous was the title, I think? Haha, they had to decide on who they'd vote out and while they did this, the money they were going to win went lower and lower by the second. HAHA! I don't know how it ended because I never got to see another episode. But geez, I hope they didn't get like just $10 or something. I mean all that trouble for ten bucks? :P

Another show I really enjoyed watching was Top Chef. I'm not sure when the finale is because I don't know the schedule. I just end up catching it on random days like last Saturday morning. I'm rooting for Harold. Wait, was that his name? I don't even know.

Lately (as in just yesterday haha), I've been getting obsessed with PBB again. I stopped watching because it was on so late and it was getting pretty stupid. I mean, come on, bringing in people back in the house when they were already voted out? Doesn't that defy the laws of the PBB house? No contact with the outside world and all that shiz. Is that what they call reinvention? But yesterday, as I was snooping around our site's message board, I stumbled upon the PBB thread. It was littered with comments against Bruce and Wendy and links to YouTube videos from the live stream of PBB. I watched them all. >_< If you've seen the videos that I'm talking about, you'll be equally as annoyed as I am. So I watched again last night after a long time of not doing so. Hohoho. Things in the House are exciting but only because the people inside are fighting. Is this really necessary for entertainment? To pit people against each other and bring out the worst in everyone? I must admit, I'm having a ball rooting for a particular side (Go, Team Geeann!), but it really does bring out the worst in people. I've been reading posts on message boards and the words that they say about these people they don't really even know are unbelievable.

That's not to say I won't watch tonight. I just hope some people would realize that at the end of the day it's a freaking TV show. Don't get caught up in it!

Group yourselves into...

When I was in fourth grade, I was a "line leader." Yes, I was one of them. The people who shout at the end of recess and lunch: one, two, three, four!—and everyone would race their arms in front, then down, then "hands at the back" as they quietly shuffled into the classroom.

When there was a group project assigned, and we were supposed to pick a leader, all fingers would point to me. And I usually expected it, already armed with my list of ideas of what we'd do.

Back then, whenever we'd have group dialogues (sometimes those were really just a reason to get out of class), my friends would always complain about my bossiness. Me, bossy? I'd always rationalize my way out of it and they'd agree. Haha, talk about being really bossy!

When I was in college, I hated group projects. I never wanted to head anything because I was worried about non-active group members (read: freeloaders!). I eventually got assigned to be an officer for both of my orgs. What a nightmare! It was so much harder than our third year investigatory project (which won in our Science Congress, btw. haha!). I was handling money for both orgs (one as Marketing head, and one as Finance Officer). For some reason, the bossy me was nowhere to be found! I managed to pull through and even cited examples from my experiences whenever I got asked in job interviews about working with a group.

You know, I used to think I liked being in a group better than working alone. But really, being a leader in a group sort of feels like you're working alone if you do all the work by yourself. It all depends on your team. I guess I've just been lucky most of the time.

1982

Mikko has given me space since the time she got her first domain. So I thought it was an injustice not to use the space she's given me. I used to house my blog over at her domain but when it expired, I moved back to Blogspot.

Since my old files were transferred to InkSmudges.com, I figured, why not rehash the site? 1982 was supposed to be a place for my "portfolio" but what would I put in it? My 10 years worth of "personal websites?" Hahaha! Yikes. I don't think I want to show everyone my past layouts—the ones plastered with 10 different pictures of myself blended together with Photoshop.

Haha, gross. Roch and I were laughing about it some weeks ago. We sort of miss the old web neighborhood. We changed layouts practically every week and everyone knew each other. Now, almost everyone has ditched their personal websites and moved on with life (haha!). A few of us still manage to keep an LJ or a blog. And how funny is it that Roch and I are actually working together now? Haha! Dun din pala ang bagsak.

ANYWAY. Nothing's really up except for the 55 word fiction section. And even that is so old. Last entry was 2006—and OMG, what a cheesy topic. Haha! Not to mention, a very gross picture that I'm so glad cannot be seen clearly. d:

It hurts but it may be the only way

I'm not very adaptable to change, I've realized not so long ago. I'm good at convincing myself that I am but I'm really not. I try my best to act like it doesn't matter but every little thing gets to me.

When I was still in that show where I used to work, I was terrified when our team of four was suddenly just, well, me. I was going to be in charge of the work that was used to be done by four people. FOUR is totally not equal to one. When I finally got the hang of it, they announced that there would be two more people to join the team. Whaaat. I couldn't let go of my responsibilities. I had this constant urge to do more than what I was told to do—sometimes forgetting that other people are supposed to take care of them. I don't know if it's arrogance (haha, it probably is) but I was always scared that if something didn't go as planned, I would want to know how to explain why it didn't. And clearly, if I didn't do it, I wouldn't know how to explain that. (Now that I think about it, though, it sounds kind of dumb.)

Anyway, I had a feeling it would happen again this time around. A different job, there's no team, but I have the same feeling of not letting go. Of things I've been doing for more than a year now. But I think I'm slowly learning that this is part of the job. I can't go on doing everything by myself! (Hello, that's impossible.) And it's possible not to do everything by yourself but still know how to explain when things go wrong.

It's kind of strange that it still feels like more work now more than ever. (Haha, I used to have some time in between to do LJ-surfing. d: Now, it's just switching tabs of all Candy-related pages.) But this isn't me complaining. I'm actually happy that this job is still a huge challenge for me. I was scared that after a year, I'd get tired of it. I'm so happy that I'm not.

P.S.
Parang walang connect yung title ng entry ko sa sinulat ko. Hahaha! I just really, really like this song right now. And diba it hurts to let go? Labo. Give it a listen. (:

I ♥ Candy

After three months of obsessing, it's finally up. I still can't stop obsessing. Refreshing every other second, making sure all the links work—even working on a Saturday to make sure that everything's in order. (Well, okay, we were required to. Haha!)

Even after my LSE moment this past week, I can't help but feel proud when I read how much the girls love it. ♥ And, for a few minutes, nothing else matters. The job has been done. I guess that's all there should be to it.

---

They're just titles, is what I should be telling myself. But can you blame me for feeling this way? Maybe I should just let it go.

Random funny

I always say how much I love my job now. And I do. But there are still days when I get worried because I don't know if I'm doing a good job. I get scared whenever we meet for progress reports because I get tongue-tied whenever I get asked, "Why?" Harr.

But this week, it made me laugh in the middle of the meeting when the superboss said, "Don't be afraid of me. I'm nice. I met your mom pa nga at the acupuncture clinic." Hahaha! How can you be afraid of someone who remembers such random details like that?!

---

I'm super loving this song right now. (Download) Mutya has always been my favorite Sugababe. d:

Brats

And by that, I don't mean the dolls with over-sized heads.

My parents meant well, I'm sure. Not letting us commute, having someone clean up after us, cook our meals, wash our clothes, make our beds. The list goes on.

I hate to say it but we've turned into brats. I'm not particularly proud of the fact. I wake up and instantly go downstairs without even thinking about the sheets I left crumpled and my pillows scattered on my bed. I've gotten used to eating breakfast and coming back to my room with my bed back in order. I don't put away my plate after eating. I don't think of what to cook for lunch or dinner. It's already cooked when I want to eat.

Fast forward to today. Our maid has left a few months ago, my cousin who stays with us and helps out around the house went back to the province, my dad's yayo isn't back from his province, and the driver went home to celebrate their town's fiesta. We have taken turns washing the dishes, putting away our clothes that are back from the laundry, and tidying up our rooms. I don't like washing dishes. Especially after a lunch of lechon kawali and lots of Mang Tomas. I don't like driving, I've realized. Or at least driving as a chore. I tried faking sleep just so I wouldn't have to drive—but eventually, I had to "wake up" because my Kuya was really asleep. I snapped at everyone who talked to me because I hated being asked to do something.

What a brat. I really wish I didn't turn out this way. It would be great if I knew how to get to work and not just by taking a cab. Or that I could go a week without my mom to cook food for me or have Laundry Express wash my clothes. I know my parents aren't to blame, but maybe them meaning well, kind of backfired.

Good friends saying good-bye

In exactly one week, Lani will be boarding a plane out of the country. It still feels unreal, even if we already had a "despedida" (she refuses to call it that) last night at Ziggie's house. It feels unreal because just a few weeks ago, I was on the beach with her and we were planning to go on more adventures together. I still feel like she'll be with us on our beach trip next month. But by that time, she would've probably started design school, met new friends, and slowly adjusted to her new life for the next nine months.

Good luck, Lani! I hope you have an awesome time there. Niña and I will try to visit you when Alyn comes home this October. Whoo! International adventure? d:

Daddies ♥

He must be such a family man. When asked who his fave model was, he proceeded to describe him as "this tall," gesturing a few feet up the ground, and that he was only so many months old. He was talking about his son, Jack. Aww. ♥ What a daddy. Hehe!

Speaking of dad's, it's my favorite boy's birthday today! For the past couple of weeks, I've been asking him what he wanted but he would always just shrug like he didn't know what he wanted. So this morning, when they came back from Mass, I sang to him—in my over-sized shirt, messy hair, and morning breath—the most awful "Happy Birthday" song. Hahaha! He laughed and sang along. I ♥ my Daddy! There are days I still wonder, though, what life would be like if that moment didn't happen eight-turning-nine years ago.

Spring cleaning

Every year, I usually dump all of the stuff in my closet on my bedroom floor. And then begins the tedious process of yes or no. Will I wear this in the next months, next weeks, next days? If the answer is no, I throw it to the to-be-disposed-of pile. If the answer yes, I fold it neatly and plop it onto the my-current-wardrobe pile.

For two years now, I haven't been doing this so my closet is now bursting with clothes (mostly black haha) that I don't even wear anymore.

My friends Niña and Lani had a rummage sale yesterday at Niña's house but I wasn't able to join them. I didn't get my stuff together and had no way to go all the way to Antipolo. Hehe. This morning, I decided to round up some of my clothes and maybe, if Ziggie is willing to let me hitch with him, I just might be able to get rid of these clothes.

And if not, I will dump everything on my bedroom floor and proceed to do my annual ritual of deciding whether or not my closet will stay this way—a terrible mess—or become a nice organized pile of stuff that I actually wear.

Downtime

I love Friday mornings. I'm always in a rush. Rushing to finish editing a video in time for sending out my weekly newsletter. Or rushing to edit an ad for a client so it can be included in the newsletter.

But the moment I've finally sent the newsletter, it feels like a period to my work week.

And I can watch videos like this (thanks, Jen!):


And I can surf a bit and not worry too much about stuff piling up for me to do.

And I can take a break and not be rushed.

And finally, to quote the Black Eyed Peas, look out weekend `cause, here I come.

Lazy Sundays

Sitting in the garage this afternoon, it was a nice change from the weekends I've been having the past couple of months. Although I enjoy spending time with my friends, going on our adventures, I also kind of miss the lazy Sunday afternoons I spend with my relatives. We spend all of ASAP until The Buzz sitting on our butts and stuffing ourselves silly. Haha! My lola makes all these side comments about the actors who are on TV. After five seconds, she'll repeat her comments. d:

Today, my mom made turbo chicken, salpicao, and picadillo. I took pictures of Triz, my not-so-little cousin, with my supersampler and my digicam. Enjoyed the (slow) internet connection in our garage. Pigged out on mini-pancakes with peanut butter and Nutella. The perfect lazy Sunday.

I actually stayed in the garage up until five minutes ago when I got attacked by mosquitoes. Eurgh.

Today will be tomorrow's yesterday

Some people believe that without history, our lives amount to nothing. At some point, we all have to choose. Do we fall back on what we know or do we step forward to something new? It's hard not to be haunted by our past. Our history is what shapes us, what guides us. Our history resurfaces time after time, after time. So we have to remember, sometimes the most important history is the history we're making today. — Time After Time, Grey's Anatomy

I might not like Meredith very much, but I love her voice-overs.

There are some things that I try to forget, or at least keep myself from remembering. If I do it long enough, I think that it'll just go away on its own. But after some time, I realize that it doesn't exactly happen that way. I just kind of wish that it did.

What matters is that today, I'm okay. And tomorrow, I'll try to be better.

Don't be selfish

A few weeks ago, I was in some sort of "trouble" at work. I was mad and I wanted certain things to happen to certain people. Obviously, those things never happened.

But early this week, I was told that something was done about it and I guess it doesn't feel so unfair anymore. I've decided to just put it behind me and remember to watch what I say and who I say it to. Definitely not people who like to twist stories and write about it.

I was really disappointed because this person was probably ten years older than me and older usually meant wiser. Apparently not. I guess there are just things that you expect of people and it doesn't turn out that way. Maybe because these people don't have the same values as you do. Or maybe they don't take things as seriously as you do. They don't care about trust. Or don't care about other people in general. All they care about is what they want.

On a totally unrelated note, people seem to be searching for the "Pob" a lot these days. At least that's what my tracker tells me. I saw Natalie Imbruglia's "Torn" on MTV earlier this week. Something tells me I'm going to get a hair cut again. Haha! I waaaant!

P.S.

Better days and getaways

Moments

♥ having my Daddy bring me to work
♥ having ice cream with good friends
♥ getting a cheque for something you've written
♥ getting assigned to do another article
♥ a bubblegum float and large fries
♥ a complimentary copy of Grateful
♥ re-connecting with old friends
♥ looking at photo albums (maybe not the actual physical ones, but the feeling is just the same)
♥ listening to music and forgetting about the rest of the world

Five-Minute Break

It's funny when you're the interviewer and you're the one who's nervous. Hahaha! Interviewed the first set today for an assistant position. Another round tomorrow. I wish I had the magical gift of discernment so I know whoever I'm picking is the right one for the job.

I'm hoping we find someone who's going to be efficient and enthusiastic about the job. I ♥ Candy. And it would be super if I had someone to work with so we can make it kick ass some more. :P

In other sorta-but-not-really related news, I've been moderating photos all day. I'm nowhere near done. Yeargh. At least I managed to blog today.

Now.. lemme get back to approving.

I really do ♥ this man.

"Life is but a dream. There are no rules, only loves and fears. No one knows just why we are here and what the point is but we have figured out so far that it’s based on having experiences. We all get to have a wonderful time, even if it is limited, to dance and play out here on the surface on the earth, on the side of the rock, and thankfully we’re not sliding down to some bottom or being flung off the side of it as it spins and do-si-do’s around the galaxy. When was the last time you sat and thanked gravity for the rain or skydiving? The wonderful time is obviously introduced in so many different ways across the plains. Our parents and theirs before them set into motion where you would dance and how you might do it. From early on we became conditioned beings.

But we are water and light and that is all. This is why the dawn of spring moves us so. Flowers are nothing but water and light. Our food is solely water and light, granted you don’t eat processed food in shiny and noisy packages. According to the human genome, everyone on this planet is 99.9% identical. Only the slightest variation in our genes makes us appear different. We even rock the same chemical happenings in us as a banana. So even more specific, consider yourself in the tribe of the living the next time someone asks what you are or where you’re from. Using a town name or a race description is entirely political and is no longer needed. You are light.

So when you’re out there this new season, making connections, sending love, experiencing rejection as well as romance, look to others with your light and welcoming gratitude and appreciation, and see them as doing the best they can with the light they’ve got. And maybe toss out a smile."—Jason Mraz

I just wanna be on the beach (sunburn!)

I was on the beach for four days and I can't wait to go back. The first three pictures I posted here were taken on our second day when we went on a mini-tour around Pagudpud. First picture was taken in front of Kaibigan Falls. The one next to it was taken where the freshwater (from the mountains) meets saltwater (from the beach). Awesome. The third picture was taken in the restaurant in Kapuluan (near the Blue Lagoon dubbed as Boracay of the North) where we had lunch. I lucked out there because my friends didn't like their food. Niña and I had the ol' reliable chicken pork adobo. The last picture is of me and Lani jumping on the beach right before we left for the airport.

It was a much needed break and even if we spent more than we intended to (although I still have money left over from what I withdrew last Tuesday), it was fun overall. I wish more of my high school girls could've gone but I guess Niña and Lani will be my forever buddies. Never mind that I'll always have to be the fifth wheel. (;

Until the next trip! More pictures in my Multiply—to be published soon. I'm not done uploading and captioning over 300 (THIS IS SPAAAARTAAA! Okay, useless reference since I haven't watched that yet. Haha!) photos. Eep! We got a little too snap-happy when we were at the terminal waiting for the plane going back to Manila. Yay for color swap and color accent. I loff my Canon!

To pob or not to pob

Hahaha! Our beauty ed Jennie coined the term. Posh (as in Posh Spice a.k.a. Mrs. Beckham) plus bob = Pob! Genius!

So it seems like I have started an addiction with cutting my hair. Ack! Next thing you know, I'll be bald.

What do you think? Go for it or forget it?

A good hair cut is also a very happy thought, you know.

More happy thoughts

Catch the Europino Food Fest at Two Serendra from today until Sunday.

This post is for Maan. < ^_^ My ugly post is getting pushed down. Hehe!

What are your happy thoughts today?

Where are my happy thoughts?

Chocolate Peanut Butter Mousse from Red Ribbon

On a side note: I really wish people would mind their own business. People really like blowing things out of proportion. STOP IT. It's not your ass on the line. So like I said, SHUT UP. You don't know what happened. Or you're just pretending that you do. You did a mighty fine job of creating a story at my expense. SCREW YOU.

Firsts

I need to write all of my firsts somewhere soon. I should make a goal of how many things I should try for the first time this year.

So far the count is...

1. Enrolled myself in a gym
2. Learned how to play poker
3. Rode a hot air balloon
4. Went on a food walk
5. Had my palm read
6. Stood on a surf board for more than three seconds
7. Won a phone
8. Contributed to a food magazine
9. Planned a surprise
10. Watched a movie in the IMAX theater
11. Played 2 rounds of Paint ball

Looking forward to adding more to this list. :D