Highs and Lows

I remember watching The Story of Us and loving the part whenever Ben and Katie would ask their kids what their highs and lows were that day. I could be remembering it wrong and it might be from a completely different movie, but whatever. Ha ha!

My highs for each day of the week that was
♥ French toast with maple syrup and Nutella and bacon for breakfast
♥ Seeing Jen's kids (they're like cartoon characters, I swear! So cute!)
♥ Spending time with the fam and mom. (:
♥ "Falling Slowly" piano piece from Mark (yay! I can play until the first verse!)
♥ DQ Pepperoni and Mozzarella Hot Dog with the Candy girls and DQ Pecan Cluster later with Digital peeps
♥ an email that happily surprised me this morning: Flickr Pro account from Kid (belated birthday gift. sobrang belated naman, but thank you!)

The week's not even done yet! Awesome.


Haven't done this in a long time...

A. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. (I didn't do that, though.) Tag 8 people. Those who are tagged cannot refuse.
B. These 8 people must state who they were tagged by. You cannot tag the person who tagged you. Continue this game by sending this to 8 other people. People who are tagged will be blessed and their wishes will come true in the future.

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
First, I have no lover. Second, there will be no betrayal if I have a lover. Third, if there is betrayal, wala na akong lover. Hahaha! I totally made sense to myself right there.

2. What will you do if you do not share the same feelings as the person who likes you?
Oh no. Usually, I just play the dense card. But most of the time, I really don't figure out that someone likes me, unless I like him back. Ha ha! I'm so self-centered, I know. Sorry.

3. Have you ever seen someone die?
Sigh. Yes.

4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
Yes, I think it's normal to feel that way sometimes. You'll find your direction at your pace, in your own time.

5. What's your ideal lover like?
Taller-than-I-am, fit but not macho (hehe), and nice nose and eyes. Someone who likes music, appreciates a good movie, reads, and (such a cliche, I know) someone who'll take me as I am. But most of all, someone who knows how to wait. d:

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone else?
Loving someone. (:

7. If the person you like does not accept you, would you continue to wait for them to change their feelings?
I'd say no. But I guess if it's the right person, you'll wait.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Nothing. It's not like I'd go out with anyone who was attached.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently?
Yes. /:

10. What do you want most in life?
Take care of my family now and have a family of my own in the future. Hopefully.

11. Which of the 7 Deadly Sins do you think you relate to the most & why?
Gluttony, maybe.

12. If you find out that your best friend is going out with your boyfriend/girlfriend, how would you react?
What do you mean by going out?

13. Who is currently the most important person to you?
My family. ♥

14. What kind of person do you think you are?
I try to be nice most of the time. Sometimes, I can be a bit evil, too. I like to be someone people can run to when they need someone to talk to.

15. Do you believe there is nothing higher than human kind?
I believe in God. (:

16. If the person you secretly like cannot recognize you, what would you do/how would you react?
Hahaha. I'd probably take that as a sign that we're not meant to be. d:

17. Would you give your all in a relationship?
Always. There's no other way to love.

18. Do you have a motto? If yes which one?
Think positive.

19. What type of friends do you like?
I like people who might not be interested in exactly the same things that I'm interested in, but are nice enough to let me gush about such things. I like people who let me be me and don't require me to act a certain way. I like people who can laugh at themselves and not take themselves too seriously. I like people who know how to keep secrets. I like people who do things for others without being told to.

20. Do you have an all time favorite song?
No all-time favorite, really. But right now, I love "My Favourite Book" by Stars.

Tagging. anyone. who. wants. to. answer. this. meme.


I Think I'm Turning Japanese

(Maan will be pleased! d:)

I've been obsessing over this amazing artist for the past week. My brother showed me her work last year and I was blown away. It wasn't until early this week that I started checking out her website. I looooove her! I even found an illustration that had a strange likeness to me. I used it as my YM icon, and I had people asking if it were me. d: I WISH!

...which is why you see a new layout before you. All knowledge of HTML has left me, so I just used an old layout and tinkered with it a bit (in fairness, nag-Notepad lang ako. Ha ha!). I had to revert back to Blogger's "classic template" because *gasp* I have no idea what XML is or how you even code it. Ha ha. Gone are the days when I would whip out a new layout for my website week after week. Sigh. I miss those days. Kind of.


Are You Okay?

While I appreciate the concern, sometimes I wish a day would pass when people would try not to feel sorry for me. Whenever someone asks me if I'm okay, I don't really know what to say. "I'm okay right now." or "I'm not, go away." I don't know.

Because I know I put up a strong front and people are surprised that I do; but when I'm alone, I still get sad. Everything plays back in my head and I can't stop it. I plug in my earphones in the car on the way to work. I turn on the TV the moment I step into my room. I hate dead silence, because the only thing that fills my mind is that Saturday. Everything that happened during that day, I remember. And I keep telling myself that it's okay. That I'll be okay. Some days, I believe it. Some days, I feel like I'm just repressing my feelings.

I haven't cried since I said good-bye to her that Saturday morning. I'm scared that one day, I'll just break down and lose it.


I love you, PG!

I still can't believe I watched this. Live. In Ateneo. With my friends. LIVE. Ha ha!

And we obsessed over it for MONTHS. We had a VHS of the show when they aired it. And we memorized "Power of the Dream" and copied the dance to "My Boo." God. So many teenybopper memories.

I watched all 11 parts on YouTube this morning and I swear I still got kilig when Patrick Garcia says, "Crush ko lahat ng babae dito." OMG. So you can imagine the heartbreak I felt when news broke that he got this girl pregnant. Sigh. (But I hear they're not together anymore!)



My brother's old office sent us BOXES of coffee, candy, and chips. We didn't even get to open the boxes of chips until we got settled back home.

I have to say, good job, URC! The Nova Italian Herbs and Chippy Beef and Chili are so yummy. The Nova is great for my favorite snack: chips dipped in Nutella. And the Chippy tastes like tacos!

God, I sound like an advertisement. Ha ha!

I should watch my chip intake, though. d: Or else Imma get bloated, fo' shiz*. d:

*Juno was awesome! I loved it. I love Ellen Page!


How do you know when someone is really being a true friend, or just being a friend out of convenience? Or worse, being a "friend" because that person can get something out of it. Something other than friendship.

These days, it's been harder and harder to discern. But I know who my true friends are. And just because you suddenly decide to be one now, doesn't mean I'll consider you one forever. Or if I consider you one at all.

Just a random thought brought to you this Sunday by The Little Mermaid's OST (happy find at Rock The Night!) and my sudden increase of "friends" the past couple of weeks.


Love is all we need

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Morning Girl

nicked from everyone...

You are breakfasty, like a pile of pancakes on a Sunday morning that have just the right amount of syrup, so every bite is sweet perfection and not a soppy mess. You are a glass of orange juice that's cool, refreshing, and not overly pulpy. You are the time of day that's just right for turning the pages of a newspaper, flipping through channels, or clicking around online to get a sense of how the world changed during the night. You don't want to stumble sleepily through life, so you make a real effort to wake your brain up and get it thinking. You feel inspired to accomplish things (whether it's checking something off your to-do list or changing the world), but there's plenty of time for making things happen later in the day. First, pancakes.


Morning After

There was a sense of calm in our house, when my mom's sisters filed out this morning. It was strange doing things that I would've normally been told to do—boil water for coffee, cook dad's oatmeal, cook rice for lunch—without anyone telling me to.

I think I'll be okay. Eventually. My mom would want that.

But when I see messages of "I'm so sorry..." or "Our deepest sympathies..." I still can't help but cry. But please don't be sorry for me. My mom is up where she's supposed to be. It's her Beautiful Destination after all these years. I know she's watching over us and making sure that we'll be able to cope.

I miss her, there's no question about that. But I know that she's still with me somehow. I feel her when there's that quiet calm. When no one is talking and all I can hear is the hum of the wind. I know that's her telling me, "You'll be okay."

It's been a week. I'm trying my best to be strong. But like my best friend told me this morning, it's okay to sometimes be weak. It's okay to cry sometimes. It'll help me be okay.


Mothers be good to your daughters

Dear God,

Please do not scare me like you did last night. I am not equipped with the skills to deal with "Hindi ako makahinga." I am not strong enough to see my mother panting in her sleep. I am not ready to take care of my mother like this. Please make her better and take her pain away. Please. It's the only thing I wish for right now. If it takes several nights of sleeping past midnight, because I am rubbing her back so she can breathe, I will do it. But please, make it all better for her. I don't like seeing her in discomfort. She is my mother. She's supposed to be invincible.