A little lamb lost

Because the weather is just the right kind of gloomy, I'll write about something I haven't been talking about for some time now.

I've always believed that your love life doesn't really define who you are. I'm not being bitter. Ha ha. It's just that I don't think you should be judged just based on whether you have a boyfriend/a husband/a partner/whatever-you-call-them-these-days or not. All of my twenty-four years (minus the few years I did manage to have a relationship), I've always been asked if I have a boyfriend, why don't I have one, isn't anyone courting me. Yes, those three questions, always in succession. Sometimes, I get tired of answering. Why is it hard to believe that I don't? Or that I don't really know why I don't have one. And that it is possible to not have someone pursue you at one point in your life. Why, are you supposed to have a suitor 24/7? 365 days a year? Because if you are, well, sorry. I was not informed.

It can get frustrating. Some people think you've given up and lost all hope and that's why you've turned into those people who would gladly stay single for the rest of their lives. But the truth is, you're just scared. Scared that everything is just one big cycle and you'll end up exactly the way you were before it started. So why bother?

I haven't lost all hope nor have I given up. I guess this time I'm just more cautious. My mom would always recite these lines to me, "Hindi hinahanap yun, dumadating." So I followed, waited patiently. It came but it also left. Some friends said you had to put some effort into it, make things happen. I tried that, too. And I only ended up getting my heart broken and it felt even worse than the first (two) time(s). So what's a girl to do?

I wait patiently and pray that someone will come and watch over me—eventually. Someone who, hopefully, is also patient and willing to wait. (:

When I was much younger, I'd always answer "25" when asked what my ideal marrying age would be. That's only three months away. Highly unlikely that a wedding will happen between today and the day I turn 25. d: But I do believe that someday, I will get to do that. (: First, I'll have to fall in love.