On Being Thirty

When I was 16, I had a clear picture in my head of how I wanted my life to be like. I had an "ideal marrying age." At 25, I knew in my heart that I was going to be married. By 30, I'd have two kids, one girl and one boy, and I'd be a stay-at-home mom with a home-based baking empire on the side (idol ko kasi si Mrs. Fields).

Fast forward to 25. I did not have a boyfriend nor was I dating. How in the world was I going to get proposed to? I was so worried about how my life was turning out. A week before my birthday, I cried every day, thinking how unsuccessful I've become. But I realized eventually that it was just me putting the pressure on myself. Who said I had to have all these things at 25? Nobody dictates how one should or shouldn't grow up.

And now I'm 30. Still not married and no tiny mes running around. No baking empire (yet!). But through the years, I've slowly learned how to see the good in things.

At 30, I'm a sister to three brothers who I get along with (most of the time, haha), who I share monthly bills with, who I live with. I'm a daughter to my Daddy who's got a 9 o'clock habit that involves 6 numbers and who likes to go to Church on Saturday afternoons. I'm a tita and a ninang to a beautiful baby girl who I pray grows up to be the wonderful lady she's destined to be. I'm a friend to Lolas, to DQs, to Candy Girls, to old friends who somehow find a way back into my life. I'm a maker who crafts things with my hands and enjoys learning and rediscovering my passion for art and handmade things.

I'm 30 and I've seen that the plans I've originally made up in my head back when I was 16 don't necessarily have to happen when I want them to. Of course I still dream of that life—to be married, have kids, and build a lovely home. But if the path I'm taking now leads me to another dream or maybe an even longer road, I'll happily truck on, knowing there's more to me than just that.