Come By And See Me, I'm A Love Letter Away

It's been more than a week since I turned 31 and I don't think I've really written a thank you anywhere. But there is definitely so much to be grateful for.

   

This year was quieter than usual. There was a mid-day surprise by way of a paper wall of different birthday images (my favorite: grumpy cat with a cupcake) with messages from the Candy team and our Cosmo web neighbors. It seems like such a trivial thing, but anything handwritten—on a Post-It, on a cute Beatles card, on stationery slipped quietly into a present—makes me extra giddy these days. I taped my birthday notes on my bedroom door so I'm reminded every day how blessed I am. So that I remember that I'm surrounded by people who genuinely care for me.

Last night, I nervously went up to the vocalist of possibly my most favorite band in the world and handed him cards with lyrics from two of my favorite mae songs. I didn't tell him how their music became a soundtrack to my life, how I bought my ticket without knowing if I'd have anyone to see the show with, or how I've waited four years to hear him sing their songs live again. He signed the card I kept with "thank you for the love and support" and when I handed him one I wanted him to keep, he said, "You have to write something on it too." And all I had to say was this: "Thank you for coming back."

Let's write letters again. I think it's a beautiful habit to keep.

Dearest Mommy

I would like to spend a day,
sitting beside you on your bed.
We can watch TV or just sleep
together. We don't need to speak
or even touch. All I need
is some time to be
with you, here and now.
I'll tell you about how
there was a boy and now
there's a girl I fell in love
with. She's tiny and beautiful
and someone I know you
already love without
even meeting. I wish you
were here for even just a few
quiet moments. To make up
for the days we've lost
and for the years that I'm scared
will be forgotten.
I hope you know that
every day you are missed.

An open (love)letter

To whom it may concern,

I don't know if I've met you already or if I have yet to meet you. But I do know that when that time comes, we won't have to try so hard. It will feel natural and familiar. I won't need to explain myself and you won't need to prove yourself to me.

I will be my usual goody-two-shoes self and you'll put up with my sometimes-brattiness. You won't care that I don't like vegetables, but will secretly prepare a veggie dish disguised as some meat-looking entree. I'll make mix CDs for you even if sometimes, it'll be just a mix of three songs that I've been listening to the entire week. My YM status message will always be about you. You'll pick me up from work and won't care that I stink because I went to the gym. We'll eat pizza when I'm feeling bad and you'll treat me to ice cream. And we'll watch a movie just so I can hold your hand. :">

My family will ask about you and I won't need to convince them that you're good for me. You'll bring me home on Sunday afternoons to meet your family and we'll have dinner with mine. We'll take turns on weekends on which set of friends to hang out with. Maybe sometimes, we each spend time with a different set apart. To be missed will make us look forward to each other.

I won't care if we don't see each other for months, I know that you will eventually come home to me. I won't worry that you've forgotten about me, because you will always keep in touch—even if you will need to spend for postage to send letters to me.

We'll fight and we'll cry and we'll be miserable—but only for a while. We'll kiss and make up and realize our mistakes (whoever was wrong at the time) and forgive whoever was at fault.

I don't know if I've met you or we have yet to cross paths. But someday.. Someday, I know I will love you. (:

Love,
Me

* Happy Valentine's, everyone! (: I hope you're happy not just on the 14th but every single day that you're alive. Or that you've found at least one reason to be happy. (: