Dearest Mommy

I would like to spend a day,
sitting beside you on your bed.
We can watch TV or just sleep
together. We don't need to speak
or even touch. All I need
is some time to be
with you, here and now.
I'll tell you about how
there was a boy and now
there's a girl I fell in love
with. She's tiny and beautiful
and someone I know you
already love without
even meeting. I wish you
were here for even just a few
quiet moments. To make up
for the days we've lost
and for the years that I'm scared
will be forgotten.
I hope you know that
every day you are missed.

Motherless daughters

I am jealous. Jealous of people with mothers alive and physically present. Mothers who they can touch and hug and say I love you to while looking them in the eyes. I am jealous of those who have mothers yet take them for granted.

Be patient with them. Believe me when I tell you, you will regret every single rant, every single impatient thought you've had when she's no longer there to nag you, make you kulit, and be the typical mother.

I have never been affected this much by someone's death, someone I never knew. Never.