It hurts but it may be the only way

I'm not very adaptable to change, I've realized not so long ago. I'm good at convincing myself that I am but I'm really not. I try my best to act like it doesn't matter but every little thing gets to me.

When I was still in that show where I used to work, I was terrified when our team of four was suddenly just, well, me. I was going to be in charge of the work that was used to be done by four people. FOUR is totally not equal to one. When I finally got the hang of it, they announced that there would be two more people to join the team. Whaaat. I couldn't let go of my responsibilities. I had this constant urge to do more than what I was told to do—sometimes forgetting that other people are supposed to take care of them. I don't know if it's arrogance (haha, it probably is) but I was always scared that if something didn't go as planned, I would want to know how to explain why it didn't. And clearly, if I didn't do it, I wouldn't know how to explain that. (Now that I think about it, though, it sounds kind of dumb.)

Anyway, I had a feeling it would happen again this time around. A different job, there's no team, but I have the same feeling of not letting go. Of things I've been doing for more than a year now. But I think I'm slowly learning that this is part of the job. I can't go on doing everything by myself! (Hello, that's impossible.) And it's possible not to do everything by yourself but still know how to explain when things go wrong.

It's kind of strange that it still feels like more work now more than ever. (Haha, I used to have some time in between to do LJ-surfing. d: Now, it's just switching tabs of all Candy-related pages.) But this isn't me complaining. I'm actually happy that this job is still a huge challenge for me. I was scared that after a year, I'd get tired of it. I'm so happy that I'm not.

P.S.
Parang walang connect yung title ng entry ko sa sinulat ko. Hahaha! I just really, really like this song right now. And diba it hurts to let go? Labo. Give it a listen. (:

You know what's up

My old workplace still gives me chills. I hate it there. I hate it. Hate it. HATE.

But this makes me happy:

Dizzy Girl

My brain is on overdrive, I think. I am working on three completely different things right now and I'm trying to alternate between them. Geezus! The most mindless task was the first one I got done with—only a few minutes ago because I keep getting side-tracked with something else. You know how some sites moderate their photo gallery? I am the mechanism behind that moderation. Hahaha. Not very fun. :P Although when there are interesting pictures (read: WHAT THE HELL is this doing in Candy?!), it's not so boring. :P

But I'm excited because I'll see an old friend from my old job tonight. We haven't seen each other in a looong time so when she sent me a message yesterday saying that she was free tonight, I told her we'd meet up—no matter what. I like keeping in touch with a lot of people. (:

And because I am in a state that you call lutang, I will leave you with some random plug (riiiight):