It seemed like a dream, a beautiful scream

Where did September go? I can't believe we're already halfway through the month. It seems like days are bleeding into each other. The only punctuation marks are my first trip to La Union since grade school, the first successful high school reunion (29 attendees, 30 if you count the ones on phone patch), hello and goodbyes at work, and the dreaded move.

If I could have it my way, I'd stay put. I'm stubborn that way. But things keep changing and we need to move forward.

A few weeks ago, I was reminded of a mistake I made a few years back. And I couldn't believe that I still had so much hate in me. I decided that it's finally time to let it go. Maybe all this negative energy has been creating a negative force field around me. And it's been way too long for me to drag all this baggage around. Tama na. I thought I had already freed myself, but whenever I cringe at the thought of... the mistake, I realize maybe I haven't fully forgotten.

So tonight, in the middle of September, I say goodbye to that awful chapter of my life when I allowed myself to be used and to be treated in a way I never thought possible. I will never ever settle for less than what I truly deserve. And I will pray that I never have to.

Coming home

When you say homecoming, I immediately think Romy and Michele's High School Reunion. Haha! Minus the interpretative dancing, I guess. Oh, wait. Scratch that. I remember a year after we graduated, we attended the homecoming and danced to Christina Aguilera's "Come on Over" (the Spanish version). Hahaha!

I went to two homecomings already. The other one was the expensive dinner in the MPB (Multi-Purpose Building to you, non-Assumptionistas). I don't even remember if we got away with not paying. :P All I remember was that we were super shocked to see the baby sister of our batch mates with the hot brother of our former English teacher. HAHA! Everyone in our table was talking about it. :P Mga chismosa kami eh.

Tomorrow, I'll be seeing my old school up in the mountains.

I remember going back a couple of years ago and not recognizing the cafeteria. It looked like a makeshift jail with all the railings (to discourage singit when lining up for food daw). The students didn't look familiar at all and everything just seemed so detached from me.

I used to think I'd be super popular when I go back to my high school. (cue Romy and Michele: "I invented Post-Its!") That I'd go back and give career talks because I'm some successful product of my school. Haha! Or I used to imagine going to our high school fair with a super hot boyfriend. Hahaha! My God, ano ba `tong dreams ko?!

Fast forward to tonight. I'm actually happy where I am now. I may not be super popular, or I might not be asked to give "expert advice" to high schoolers applying for colleges (oh, and I don't have a super hot boyfriend—no not even a not-so-hot one :P), but I'm happy. (: Happy to know that I'm not perfect and that I am continually growing as a person. This is truly a year of trying things for the first time. And I'm glad I've become that kind of person and not just someone who sticks to the familiar. And I guess going back to my home for thirteen years would be a reminder of what I used to be and how much I've changed (for the better).

Dizzy Girl

My brain is on overdrive, I think. I am working on three completely different things right now and I'm trying to alternate between them. Geezus! The most mindless task was the first one I got done with—only a few minutes ago because I keep getting side-tracked with something else. You know how some sites moderate their photo gallery? I am the mechanism behind that moderation. Hahaha. Not very fun. :P Although when there are interesting pictures (read: WHAT THE HELL is this doing in Candy?!), it's not so boring. :P

But I'm excited because I'll see an old friend from my old job tonight. We haven't seen each other in a looong time so when she sent me a message yesterday saying that she was free tonight, I told her we'd meet up—no matter what. I like keeping in touch with a lot of people. (:

And because I am in a state that you call lutang, I will leave you with some random plug (riiiight):

Reunions and old friends

So it's been two days of sleeplessness, but it doesn't matter. One of my good friends is back in Manila after three years! How awesome is that?

I'm just a little sad that she's only staying till Sunday morning. And that doesn't even count since she's leaving first thing that morning. Lani and I picked her up Sunday afternoon and spent the rest of the night with our high school friends. I always have fun with them no matter how long we haven't seen each other. Hello, I haven't seen Jenn since Mikko last visited—three years ago! To think we spent practically all of high school together because we were carpool mates!

Even if I look like crap after staying out late for the past two nights, I'm so happy that I'm getting to spend so much time with friends. And January hasn't even ended yet! I just hope we can all be together—complete!—before Mikko and Binky leave.

Last night, I got picked up super late so we ended up staying at my friend's house till 1 am after our first real poker night (haha! I won one round!). I'm amazed at my friend's super photographic memory. She recounted everything like high school was just yesterday. We couldn't stop laughing at all our kalokohan back then. :P

As if you can't tell yet, I am so happy with my high school memories. It really was the best four years of my life. (: And I'm glad I can still live in high school even for a while every so often. :P