Real Love

Sometimes, life surprises you and gives you family who are like friends, and friends who are like family. I'm happy I have the pleasure and privilege of having both.

But life is far from perfect and sometimes you need to deal with Judgy McJudgersons in this lifetime. Sometimes you want to get back at them, but realize, why stoop that low? Why give them the satisfaction of being "right." Even when they're not.

I know who I am and don't need to be told that I need to act a certain way to be called a certain name. My conscience is clear and I give my love freely to the people I, well, love. Because who wants a kind of love that is forced, that is dictated, that is decided by someone else? Is that even love at all?

I don't need to be showy. I don't need other people to know what I do when they're not looking. I don't need to announce that I've given someone something just so I can get someone else's affirmation that I'm being "good" to others. The person receiving that blessing is affirmation enough.

I've been struggling with a lot of pent-up emotions for the past year or so. It's disappointing when people you put in high regard, dismiss you as selfish or unapologetic or ungrateful. It's disappointing when they decide all of this based on what little they know of you. It's disappointing because they're family.

But instead of hurting them the way they've been hurting me, the only right way to go about it is to kill them with kindness.

Things to remember:

Give your toes a rest and try giving yourself a manicure.
Wear your accessories instead of buying more.
Wear your shoes instead of buying more.
Stop eating junk.
Bake more!
Finish what you started.
Save for that computer you promised to give yourself... a year ago.
Organize dinner with your friends. You miss them and you won't see them if you don't do that text brigade that you do... by yourself.

I miss being lazy and free as a bird. Maybe on my birthday month?